Loving my Weekends!

Weekends ARE your lifestyle!

How you choose to spend your downtime is a huge part of your life.. two full days of weekend.. that’s 48 hrs, minus 16 hrs for sleep, leaving 32 hrs for QUALITY TIME!

How did you spend your quality time this weekend?

In between housework, cuddling my children, and generally lazing in my bedroom, chilling with some computer games and doing a bit of study, I’ve been working out!

3pm Saturday.. Kickboxing with Doug.  Awesome fun although I think a week of skipping gym time really hit home – I had to take a five minute breather when I started with the hot flushes!

6pm Saturday.. Nat called for an impromptu visit to Ambitionz!  The new 24hr system is up and running and we decided to check it out together.  Well she caned me.. she wanted to box but holding the mitts – I swear that just means she wanted to tell me what to do and make me work my arse off!  About 10mins later and the hot flushes were back!

8am Sunday.. SSS JuJu Jelly Legs Program on the 12wbt.  This goes down as my all time favourite workout!  My legs are caned!

I had plans of coming home and heading off to Yeppoon for some bushwalking by the beach and then coming home for a run.. but my legs are just not co-operating so a hot bath tonight is on the cards!

But last weekend.. OMG!  My Sunday was awesome!

I did the JuJu Jelly Legs SSS in the morning, then went to climb up Mt Jim Crow – amazing stuff and a great time with the boys! And then, just because I am insane (and possibly spurred on my the motivation of a Roast dinner!) I did a ‘quick’ 6.5km run – 45mins thankyou!

I am slowly learning that I don’t need to ‘train’.  I just need to live a healthy life.  Going to the gym is fun and builds my fitness but it isn’t an end to itself – however knowing that it is preparing me for a full and fun life – that makes it worthwhile!

Aiming High!

My goals for the next 12 months:

1 Month Goals

Benchpress 25kg  and lose the last 3kg (ie. 50kg or less))

Currently benchpress 15kg in 3x 8 reps, increase by 2kg each week.

I will need to stick fairly closely to the meal plan for this first four weeks, but should be okay to increase my cals to maintenance after that.

3 Month Goals

Benchpress 40kg loss 5kg (ie. 48kg)

I will keep increasing by 2kg each week, but I need to organise a spotter for these days.  I will make sure I am getting plenty of protein and vegies for good muscle building in this time too!

6 Month Goals

Maintain strength, build up running to 10km runs regularly.

I haven’t really thought too much beyond this round outside of maintaining both my strength and cardio fitness with a good balance.  I will build up to 10km runs over the Christmas holidays and go from there!

My Rewards!

 Well, as I promised myself.. a shopping spree at the end of the round!  I've actually been buying a fair bit through this round which I will update with over the week.  I hate buying clothes as I struggle to work out what looks good on me but it is so much easier these days!

1. The bikini for summer
2. A light summery dress
3. A new top to go with short shorts
4. A dress to wear with the bikini
5. A little reminder of how far I have come!

Some pics...



I am a champion!





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Lean and strong!



Have I won Lean and Strong?

Back in pre-season, when I decided to join Lean and Strong, part of that motivation was that it was at least possible for me to 'win' a placing.  The 12wbt is, afterall, a competition based program.  Back then I was petrified that I might actually win!  I had already decided to attend the finale party and I think that if I had of been told back then that I would have to get up and accept a prize from Mish on stage, I probably would have ate myself into losing out of fear!

But here I am now, Mish has just announced that the winner of Lean and strong will win some awesome home gym equipment (Technogym), and I am thinking, "Do I deserve to win?".

Part of me says, "No way!".  Everyone is so fit and strong, they can do chin-ups and bench press huge amounts and I can't!  But you know what?  This is my journey.

Whether or not I deserve to win is not the question, the fact is, I already have! 
I set out with a goal in mind, lose 6kg and get strong.  I have lost 4kg, but I also chose that path as I increased my protein intake to allow for muscle building, and there is still a week to go!  And I have certainly gotten stronger!  I couldn't do squats, but now do squats with perfect form with a 20kg barbell.  I couldn't do lunges, in fact, they had me in tears for the first two weeks of this program.  I can now do lunges with perfect form, and can even do them with 5kg hand weights!  I can do push-ups on my toes, not too many, but more then the couple I managed at the start of the round.  I even did 200 push-ups (mixed between toes and knees) in a 1hr kickboxing class!  I've learnt to do burpees, pushing out 60 of them first go!  My 1km time trial speed is improving, and best of all.. I can now do a sit-up (ab stage 1 finally!).

Have I followed the program exactly.. no.  I've eaten poorly at times but have always come back to the program - I know how to jump straight back in and recover when I stray from my chosen path.  I didn't follow the gym machine program for a couple of weeks as I was too busy trying out fitness classes at the gym.. five new classes in one week, two the next!  But I certainly have maintained and improved my fitness throughout the program, relishing in the opportunity for daily exercise! 

I feel strong, and not just physically, but my mind as well.  I have always lived in fear, an anxiety disorder, agorophobia.. it ripped my confidence in myself apart.  It is easy enough to be brave when you don't know fear.  When you haven't felt your body fail you in the face of fear, the panic, the nausea, the hot and cold sweats, the pressure crushing your chest and heart.  I know fear, and I know what it is like when your mind and body succumbs to it. I don't want to go there again but I realise now that it is a risk that is worth taking.  I might just feel that fear, I might want to run and hide, I might even fail, but it is worth it to walk in the sun.  I will never go back to that dark place again, but not because I walk cautiously in the shadows.  I will fight for my place in the sunshine, for my mind to free of the burden that fear has place upon it.

I am so proud of myself.  I have already won.  I have won strength, self-belief, and freedom. 

Reason No. 1 My Family

Well, I have looked at my excuses and my goals, planned, organised, and done my mindset lessons as per Mish's instructions.  But there was one thing I haven't covered yet, and that is why I am doing this.  Yes Yes, to be happy, but why is it so important to my happiness?  Well, let us start with my number one reason:  my family!

I am sad to say that I don't really see myself as a "good" mother.  I'm not a bad mother...  my kids are looked after and fed, sent to school, kept clean, and loved, however, I feel something is missing.  There is that 'extra mile' that I feel I need to go to to make it into 'good' mother territory.  My eldest son has severe behaviorial difficulties.  At home he is just a 'hard work' type kid.. and unfortunatly, he tends to end up on the computer/PS3 or tv most of the time just because I don't have the time/energy to deal with him, or sometimes, even the know how.  gosh that sounds terrible! 

Now, I have two younger boys as well - no behaviorial problems but due to the enivironment, they too spend a lot of time on the computer or PS3.  I need to change this.  I need to get my family out of the house.  The trampoline is great - the boys will go out there and play if /when they ever drag themselves out from in front of the screen.  But I need to do more! 

So today I am buying that boxing bag.. for me, my husband, and my kids!  I'm also getting a second soccer ball (maybe a third) and a goal for them too!  We will have a look at what else in the shop while we are there and see if anything takes their fancy!  I will report back later with how it went!

Reporting back:  We have a punching bag for the boys and I! Yippee!  JD (who tends to have a quick temper) is loving it!  He is out there now, boxing a way in his undies!  DJ had a little go as well (my eldest) once I dragged him off the computer and he lashed out pretty wildly - but a few words "tuck your elbows in", "aim for the middle of the bag for the jabs, sides for hooks" .. and he was powering away.  Even threw in a few roundhouse kicks to show off! lol  CT (the youngest) just thought it was pretty fun and went a little rank!

I can't wait to have a good go at it tomorrow - I might try my super saturday at home this weekend!

Failure is NOT an option!

I watched the live feed with Talia the other night and she said "not succeeding was never an option" - Mish picked up on that phrase and asked "what does that look like?".  The 'Moment with Mish' hasn't left my mind, failing seems to be all I seem to do and there was one other great bit of advice.. tracking food and calories helps to keep one accountable.

These bits of advice have been floating around in my head ever since! I started my food diary on Calorie King straight away, logging that days food.  I then started my blog post for keeping track on a weekly basis (you should be able to find it in my post list for this month).  It is already working for me - I allowed myself to 'pick' yesterday and made a few 'not so good' choices with my food.  I was already out of routine as I missed my morning workout (I went, but DOMS in my neck/back and the resulting headache just didn't work! 10min rule followed and I chose to opt out) but I ended up having a run that afternoon after seeing just how many calories I had eaten!  If anyone is not doing it.. I highly recommend it!  If 1200cals per day is your goal, how do you know if you have met that goal unless you measure it?  I don't plan on calorie counting forever, but I do plan on getting my body used to good healthy food, and my mind used to seeing and feeling what 1200 cals looks like so I when I do stop calorie counting, I can be confident I am eating well!

I headed up this blog post as 'Failure is NOT an option' for a reason, as that is what I want to talk about.  Everyday I make excuses, be 'kind' to myself, and put things off until tomorrow.  I'm not failing I tell myself, but just re-negotiating. I didn't see anything wrong with this... I got where I wanted to be, just really really slowly.  And in all honestly, I wasn't really getting where I wanted to be.  I was getting close, but just not quite making it.  I fell short of 1st class Honours by 2%,  I have missed my goal date for finished my lit review (by a mile!), I haven't even managed to lose 5kg in a round yet, I have missed fitness tests, not met goals (not even checked what they are and forgotten about them!), I've not been meal planning or shopping, Oh hell, the list just goes on and on and on and on....  It is time to stop kidding myself!

Well, that is great, but how do I stop kidding myself.. how do I move on from here.  I am doing okay - getting to my workouts each day, just not putting in 100% - maybe 80%, getting frustrated that it is taking me over an hour to get the workout done so I am not finishing the abs and stretching.  In other words.. I am failing! Is accepting less then perfect okay?  Yup, for sure, and that has been an important step for me to realise and to still keep going even though I am not doing 100%.  But now I need to move on to the next lesson...

Failure is NOT an option!

What I want right now.. my real and true goals!
1. To lose weight and have a great strong body.
That means... a) stick to 1200 cals
and  b) follow my workouts to the letter!

Now, in order to meet a) I will need to keep my food diary, and in order to meet b) I will need to harden the f'up and get to the gym a bit earlier and leave a bit later.  Now, holidays are coming up which is going to throw a BIG spanner in the works.. but, I will just have to suck it up and go to the gym later in the day!

So how do I get in the right mindset to acheive these things?  Well this is what I am doing!  Last night I grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote by hand "Failure is NOT an option", and under it, I wrote 4 things I wanted to acheive today.

1) Finish my IL-6 structure section
2) Stick to 1200 cals for the day
3) New class - Fitball
4) Fill in some the contract for work.

These are things that WILL happen today - no matter what.  I went to fitball - I had to get the kids off to school a little earlier to get there in time, and Nat couldn't make so I went alone.  But I went.  Burnt a measly 100cals in 35mins but then went and did run/row intervals to burn off another 150cals in the next 25mins!
So far I am sticking to my cals - cooked up a yummy omlette after gym, had my oats for breakfast.. planned my snacks - just need to work out dinner!
Next I am going to collect all the papers I need for my IL-6 writing, will probably have to run into uni to use the internet/databases and printer to get some more papers as well - but write it I shall!
Filling in the contract will be my evening job!

So failure is not an option - off I go!

Climb that mountain!

My MiniMilestone was a big one this week and very nearly didn't happen.  I have struggled with my JFDI this week, struggled with decisions beyond my control, and am still in the recovery phase after a bout of illness.  I woke this morning with a massive headache (continuing from last night) which I think was due to using a little too much of my neck yesterday.. but more on that later!  I did it though, I ran/walked/shuffled up Mt Archer - 5km, and 474m up (last time it said 380m up though so who knows!).

So my weekend started yesterday with my fitness test first up!  I wasnt' feeling the best but I had commited to meeting Nat (Snowbear, aka Poptart Lady) for my first ever Body Pump class!  I had not done what I should have done on Thursday (because I had to work) and Friday (because I was a lazy ass), so I need to get my fitness test done that morning or it wasnt' going to happen.  So JFDI...

I did my 1km time trial in 4: 59 !  I almost cried!  That is an improvement on my original 5: 36 from 4 weeks ago.  I am well and truely in advanced for cardio fitness.
Push-Ups:  I did 34 in the 60 secs - I ran out of time rather then got too fatigued as I was on rough ground and was shifting around a bit.  I am sure I can improve on that again.
Wall Sit: I did worse in!  I only lasted 1:07 rather then the 1: 19 of last time.  I am thinking it was  form thing though - I remember last time I was thinking that the wall was a bit rough and holding me  up a bit!  This time I felt like I was doing it properly!
Ab Stage:  I am still at 0!  I thought I might get there but I can't get past a crunch.  It could be a form thing, or it could be that after 3 children I have a lot of core work to do!  I am working on it, but I may need to up the ante if I really want to get a sit up done! 
Flexibility:  I managed to hit the 0 mark with some effort on the third go, and a bit of a bounce to it as well... not sure if it really counts.  Still a huge improvement on 5cm short of 0!  Another intermediate for this one!
So all up, my fitness is 1x advanced, 3x intermediate, and 1x beginner! Good improvements all round, and a good indication on what I need to work on.

Now, next big thing was that I did my first Pump class, and followed it with an hours cardio to hit 500cals for the day!  A huge thankyou to Nat (Snowbear) for being my motivation and companion in pain!  I went low on weights, really could have done a lot more but will see how I go next week.  I like the idea of Body Attack plus Body Pump as my super Saturday, and then a nice slow Balance class on Sunday!  I will trial doing a FitBall class as my core workout this week as well, and I might even try a Zumba class for fun on Tuesday (though this conflicts with my 'reading' at school).  What is even more awesome though, is that this is now a pretty minor thing, to do a new class.  A few weeks back, it was a major thing - I would have worried before hand, stressed out about it, spent the class with my 'nerves' on high.. It would have big deal!  But now, it is normal to do this.  How awesome is that!

Okay, up to the big deal for today... 5km, 400+ elevation, 500+ calories later, and one mountain conquered!  That is right, I walked it two weeks ago with Ash and Kobie in about 1hr and 10mins, but this week I tackled it alone and with a time in mind.. under an hour!  I did it in under 55mins, and that was with a fair bit of stopping and walking towards the end!  I took a few photos along the way, I kept thinking.. this must be the last corner.. and taking a photo, only to find it was not the last corner, so I have 3 photos of the 'last corner' lol!  My wonderful family were waiting for me at the top and ran the last 50m with me!

From Runkeeper:  It was fairly accurate this time!  The pictures were taken were the photo snaps are indicated on the map!

The veiw from abotu 3/4 the way up.  Looking down at Rockhampton.

Is this the last bend?

Surely this must be the last bend?

Nope, it wasn't the last bend but the view was awesome!

Now this one was the last bend!  Up the top there is about another 50m round a steep corner to get to the carpark (or you can take the stairs! :o).

Yup I made it to the top and still had the energy to smile!  My heart sure loves me today!

How to Jump Back on the Wagon..

Having just successfully 'jumped back on the wagon', I thought I would share what I have learnt and how I got over the mental hurdle of 'restarting'.

Firstly, you need to define the difference between being on and off the wagon.  At what point did you realise you weren't on the wagon?  And then look back to when you started getting off the wagon?  I realised around week 5, but looking back, I can see that from week 3 I had 'let go' of the reins which is what caused me to crash and burn.  What I realised was that 'falling off the wagon' was, for me, I loss of my sense of control.  I stopped flexing my willpower muscle and let the inner labrador take over.

What changes happened in my eating and exercise plan? How did I 'see' that I wasn't on the wagon anymore?  Most noticely, I had starting eating chocolate and allowing 'treat' foods.  It started off inside my calorie limits which was okay.. but it stopped being okay when that changed to chocolate, biscuits, icecream - things I wasn't controlling but were letting control me.

So how does a person get back on the wagon?  Take back your sense of control.  It doesn't have to be big.  I started by doing a 24hr ban on chocolate.  I knew that it was the chocolate and 'treat' foods that was the problem so I had to reign that in and control it.  Now I am in the 5th day of a two-week chocolate ban.  Last night was the most painful as the inner labrador came out in full force.  But I survived with only a half a peanut butter sandwich consumed after dinner!  Now in the five days, I have also started exercising again.  Not to the level I was in the first weeks of the challenge where I as going everyday, but enough to feel I have control.  That is my focus for now - control, not perfection!

And I think that will be the trick for staying on track for me... to escape my perfectionism and accept what I can do rather then focus on how I am failing.  I don't think anyone is capable of doign the program perfectly - we all have red flag days, different schedules and commitments, holidays, monthly cycles, financial issues, etc etc which will affect the program, but the success is in making the program work for you.

The Emperor's New Clothes

Every time I look at buying clothes, I always say to myself, "When you lose some more weight..".  And when I do buy clothes, there is that little niggly feeling inside that says, "If you had of lost weight you could be buying something better.". 

So today, at the start of this challenge, I have decided to break with tradition.  I have lost about 10kg from my heaviest weight, and quite frankly, I am not that bad looking!  Yeah, I look like a candy apple on a stick but hey, that shape is gonna be me no matter what size I am!  So I bought some new clothes and I am going to show off what I hottie I am (though I am having a bad hair day!)!

This is my outfit for my graduation coming up in a couple of weeks, and a dinner party next week.

A nice summer dress for day parties and going out for dinner.

A new work outfit, these were a little on the tight side!

And a nice casual shirt (I had the skinny jeans from last year!) for playtime!

I also picked up some sucky-in undies (which really work!), a nice push-up bra, and the white shoes and bracelet in the pics are new as well.

All up it was about $250 for the lot, not too bad but way over budget!  Worth it though - I feel great about how I look and keen to look after myself better knowing how great it feels to be proud of your body!

In case anyone is wondering.. my stats at this point are:

height: 155cm
weight: 60kg

Just to keep me going today....

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."


Mary Anne Radmacher

Some Inspirational Quotes

Feeling healthy and feeling good about yourself is not a luxury - it's an absolute necessity.

When you discover it's your choice and your attitude, things start to happen!

Nothing tastes as good as being healthy and full of energy feels.

The secret of success is having the courage to begin in the first place.

Have you hit a brick wall? Aim higher and jump over it.

Choice is a gift given to everyone. It is a powerful gift that can change your life.

Venture forth into new horizons, even to places those around you do not have the courage to go.

It's your choice - will you choose to be a victim or the victor?

 

If you don't know where you are going how will you know when you get there?

Marathon runners don't worry about the conditions, they just run anyway!

 

Winners feel like winners
Losers feel like losers
How do you feel?

Inspiration!

I’m going to add some signatures and inspiration images I am doing onto here so I can access them and get motivated on demand! lol