We all have a comfort zone. Our nice safe world, with nice safe walls around it. We gaze outside those walls and see our dreams but fear stops us from stepping outside our walls.
I have learnt something through my years recovering from agoraphobia and living with a panic disorder. The walls are just pretend. They aren’t really there. We create them in our minds to make us feel safe but all they do is trap us inside our safe little world.
I’ve taken a step back, retreated back into my safe little walls – given they are a bit further out now, but they are still there. I avoid, I make excuses, I pretend I don’t want what is on the other side. But I do want it.
Analogies aside, I know how to get where I want to be and this ‘failure’ has taught me to appreciate just how well I was doing. Now I just need to start, regain that momentum and ‘step through the wall’. Yes, it will take effort but with each visit to the gym, each time I step out the door and run, each shopping visit where I fill my trolley with good food, and each healthy meal I prepare, it will get easier. It will become normal. And the walls will disappear again!
Jeni
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