Sunday, October 31, 2010

Week 6 (Sunday) Acceptance

Acceptance is hard for me.

I always think I can try harder, and yes, I could!

But what is done is done.  My honours thesis is now complete and ready to print.  I am not looking at it again.  I will now finish my lab book and then prepare my talk and by next Monday.. I will be FREE!

No more assessments!  EVER!

Time to grab some food and then have a nap I think!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Goal - a Re-Evaluation.

Due to the 'bleep' that has been the last couple of weeks, I am off track for my goal.  So I am re-setting my goals.

My main goal is to get under 55kg before the end of the challenge.  I weighed in at 58.1kg this morning (only 700g down from my first weigh-in) so I can break it down like this:

Week 7 - 57.5kg
Week 8 - 57.0kg
Week 9 - 56.5kg
Week 10 - 56.0kg
Week 11 - 55.5kg
Week 12 - 55.0kg

That is half a kilo a week and totally acheivable.
Now, I also have my swimming and running goals..

By the end of the challenge I would like to be doing at least two laps of the pool (50m) without stopping.  It has taken me 6 weeks to get to 25m, so allowing 6wks to get to 50m seems reasonable.

Running - I just need to get a regular training routing going rather then just 3x 5km runs.  I want to get my interval training happening so I can increase my speed even further, and to do long runs on Saturdays.  I think I need to commit to a Tuesday training session with the running club.  I don't know if I am ready though so I will just give a tentative 'maybe' for now! lol 

So by the end of the challenge I want to have a regular 10km saturday run happening, and to be going to Tuesday training sessions!

I also need to do toning and yoga sessions!

I want to be able to do a sit-up and to hold a plank for 60secs!  I would also like to look into body shaping (rather then body building) and to do up a good routine specifically for my body!

Mmmmm Have I been specific enough?  I think I will need to re-do this again a few times to really get my goals down pat, but I will be 'diarise and organise'ing very soon and that really does help in clarifying my goals!

Week 6 (Saturday) My Swim Class

I totally rock!

25m of the pool - freestyle and breaststroke - Goal Acheived!

The only time I stopped mid-lap was when I trying two laps in a row.  So I now have my next goal...

50m of the pool in freestyle!

and while I am there.. my butterfly kick is "impressive" so the next thing is to add arms - next week apparently!

I am so happy with this.  I don't think I quite rank as a 'swimmer' as yet but I am getting there!  It was pretty cool actually, there was another trainer there today, getting up her hours for her certificate, and we were talking about what my goals were and how I was going with them and it was so nice to feel like I could hold my own in the conversation.  I had goals, I new where I was in acheiving them.  Here was this person, who I would have been so intimidated of previously,  and I was on an equal footing!  Maybe not as fit, but that same attitude, the same area of interest.  It was cool!
I feel like I could actually go out and start making friends, getting into the social scene of fitness!  I am starting to feel proud of myself and who I am.  Afterall, I have achieved a lot to go from someone who couldn't leave the house for years to someone who could go out, get my driver's licence, go to uni and get my degree, get my Honours, and pretty soon, get a job.  And I have lost over 10kg, learnt to run up to 10kms, run in 3 5km races and am now learning to swim!  And all that while raising 3 boys with special needs!

My life rocks!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Week 6 (Friday) Back to the Excuses!

Oh I hate excuses!  I have a hundred of them that are not even worth listing.

The main ones are that I am too busy, too tired, too everything when in reality I am just not making the right choices which makes it even harder again to make those good choices.  If I eat crappy, then I have trouble sleeping so I am tired and can't exercise and eat crappy and have trouble sleeping. 

I need to break the cycle and Just F'n Do It!

That is, I think, the main thing to learn from this excuses exercise - there are too many of them to worry about individually but they are all the same.

The hard part is learning what is learning what is and isn't in my control.  One of the reasons I have been not been happy with my progress so far is that I am using my thesis as an excuse when in reality, what I eat and when I exercise is still in my control and I am choosing not to do it.  Not because of my thesis and workload, but because I have the excuse and I let myself use it!

Not anymore!  I can still do this!  I want it so bad!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Week 6 (Thursday) Re-introduction!

Hi!  My name is Jenifer and I am 36yo.
I have been a member of the 12wbt since pre-season first began and was doing really well up until week 3. 
Three weeks on from that and I have realised that I have completly stopped participating in the challenge except for the forums.  I do have an excuse.. a good one too... my Honours thesis is due to be printed on Monday November 1st.  Whether that is a valid excuse is up for debate! 

I have decided that given my situation, it would be a good idea to 're-start' my journey and go-over the pre-season tasks again, so here I am.

I am a student - Biomedical Science Honours - and will hopefully begin work soon as well, but everything after Monday is a complete mystery!
I have three children.. all boys, 11, 7 and 5yo.  And I have a partner - today is our 18th anniversary of 'getting together' (we haven't been bothered to get married as yet - though I have the ring!).

So why am I doing the 12wbt challenge?

I am about 10kg overweight.  I was 42kg when I was pregnant with my first child way back in 1998.  I was in the middle of a mental illness - anxiety/panic disorder and agorophobia.  Cause and effect get a bit mixed up here but there was a link between my illness and food.  I soon discovered food made me feel better and healthier but after years of eating crap (just not much of it) I had no idea what healthy food was so although eating more was a good thing - I was eating more of the wrong foods.  So after 10yrs the weight had slowly crept on and on and on until I hit 69kg.  At this point I actually realised that I was getting 'fat' - not just a little chubby but unhealthy - overwieght and bordering on obese.  yes, I know 69kg seems a low number for many people, but at 155cm tall, that is 20kg overweight. 

I started to eat healthy (calorie king is AWESOME) and joined a gym.  It didn't take long and I was 5kg down.  I moved, started uni, and started work and in the process lost another 5kg over 6mths.  Another 5kg came off in the next 6mths due to stress - my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away, I decided that was a great time to kick my partner out as well!  I came to my senses within 3mths I had gained back my weight and was settled nicely at 60kg which is where I was when I started this program.  I have lost 2.5kg so far, half in the pre-season so accordign to my stats I am only 1.1kg down!  The scales have had me as low as 56.7kg but I had bounced back up by weigh in day and I am now seeing a gradual increase. 

Now.. back to the why...
I don't like being chubby!  I want to fit and healthy and have a good life.  I hate that I am so dependent on food to get me through stressful situations.  I hate that I fall back into lazy habits and get take-out when I have a fridge full of food.  I want a 'better' life.  I want to be proud of who I am!  I want people to look at me and see that I respect myself and deserve that respect!  I want to be disciplined - I want to be a woman of my word (which I haven't been so far in this challenge!).

So there you go.. that is who I am.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Week 6 (Tuesday) Questions????

Am I doing the right thing?

Is giving myself the mental space to complete my thesis over the next few days a smart, kind thing to do for myself?  Am I really that delicate that I can't give achieve more then one goal at once?  Is it just an excuse to be lazy?  I am beginning to think so.

Just how much time and mental thought does this take?

Do I need to save up my willpower muscle to get my thesis done rather then to control my eating?

Now that excuse is ringing so true for me.  Even as I type this my head went 'bing - nicely justified!'.

So is it a reasonable justification or not?

I guess we will see.

Off to an appointment for now, and then I am picking up some healthy food for today!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Week 6 (Monday) Last Week of Excuses.

So this week is my last week of thesis writing.  My last excuse is almost over!

I just realised I missed my run this afternoon, and because I was writing.  Yet this morning I faffed about watching tv instead of writing.  I really need to lock myself in a room to do this and just get it done!  No tv, no internet, no chocolate - just thinking space! 
I am disappointed in myself as I haven't been a women of my word.  I havne't stuck to the plan and I have allowed myself to use my thesis writing as an excuse when in fact it was simply my laziness.  I've only been doing my running - no strength work and my yoga only happened once.  I am concentrating on the positives though - I am doing the running consistently, and learning to swim, and I am very very very slowly losing some weight.  I feel better and healthier - but I know I could do better!

I will allow myself this last week to get myself in order and then I will have the remainder of my time to really kick butt and earn my shirt (if it ever arrives!). 

Off I go to write and no procrastinating.  I will finish it asap so I can get back to my health and well-being so I get the most out of the program in the time I have left!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Week 5 (Sunday) The Pink Ribbon Fun Run

OMG!  I did it!  Time for this run was 29mins 49secs --> Under 30mins!  Yey!

Unfortunatly no photos as apparently getting the kids up and out of the house by 7am is impossible so I went all by lonesome.  I was a bit disapointed as I was really hoping to have someone there for me - it feels a bit odd to be the only one there who doesn't know anyone or have someone to cheer them on!

But anyways, on to the run!  I woke up around 6.30am and got dressed, had a cuppa and an egg on toast - and had my fingers crossed I wouldn't get a stitch from eating! lol  It was pretty cool tying on the the little timing chip to my shoe as I've never used one before!  All lined up and ready to go and boy to do I hate the waiting!  We had to listen to all the fluff and carry on as per usual and then all of a sudden it was 3-2-1 go.  I took my time wondering up to the start line and off I went.  It was super crowded and most of the time I was dodging people.  I have learnt to dispise people who run four across and take up the whole pathway - manner anyone?  What was odd though, I spent the first part of the race almost in tears - I don't know why but I had this kind of 'I'm doing it' feeling.  I wasn't at the back of the pack, I was passing people who were normally way ahead of me.  I was running!  The course was fantastic until we hit the 'hill', I reckon it should be renamed 'torture hill'.  It wasn't that long but man it was steep.  I was actually talking aloud to myself: "just keep moving", over and over again.  At the top of the hill was a second check point with water, I grabbed the water and asked the ladies there "who put that hill there?  That was mean!" lol  But oh man, did it feel good to run down the other side.  The weather was warming up though and I was running out of puff for the end, I think I kept up a good pace but I wasn't able to pass the other two ladies who were running just ahead of me. Every time I came close, they sped up! lol  I was exhausted as I crossed the finish line and was actually a bit light-headed as I did my cool-down walk.  I put some water on my face to cool down and put my head down between my legs (I pretended I was stretching!) and I started to feel a bit better. 

I handed in my timing chip and headed home, a little disappointed that once again there was no way to find out the time I ran, even approximatly until they put the results up online.  But it was a good race.. about 250 people which is awesome for a small central queensland city!  so stay tuned for an update on the time.  I will be soooo happy if I managed to get in under 30mins but I don't know with that whopping huge hill if the course allowed for a PB!

Now, I have to note what a huge acheivement this has been for me.  Earlier this year I decided to learn to run and started the c25k program.  A few weeks in I saw an add on tv for the race series and decided to have a go.  That was huge for me.. to go somewhere new, by myself, and then put myself way out there by competing.  My first time was about 38mins, and my second race, 32mins.  My goal this year was to complete 3 races and today I did that.  It is so much then being about increasing my race time though.  It is the fact that I kept going.  It wasn't a fad that I did for a few months, but a whole lifestyle change.  By commiting to the long term goal of 3 races and achieving that I have shown myself that I can be consistent, that I can train long-term for something and not just do something on a whim.

Funnily enough, there is another race (6km) coming up in 2 weeks... trying to decide if I should do it or not as it is the day before my final talk.  lol It might be good for stress releif!

Well, speaking of uni, I need to get in and get my work done today so I can relax a bit later!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Week 5 (Saturday) Swimming Etc

Swimming lesson again this morning!

8am I rocked up, rearing to go!  I remembered not to eat heavily before going so I had eaten 2 peices of toast with a slight smidgeon of butter and my cuppa at 7am. 

I jumped in for my swim, relishing the fact that it was sunny and NOT windy!  The water was just nice - a little chilly at first but perfect after 30secs of adjustment!  My first warm up lap I just waded and kept my head up and then freestyle back.  I had to do a few laps before I managed to get a full 25m lap without stopping.  It seems to take a bit for my lungs to warm up.  Then after half an hour we switched to breaststroke and I was quite happy that I was getting comfortable with it and making it about half way down the pool before stopping.  Then Mon says 'a full lap please'!  lol My head said 'no way' but I had a crack at it anyway.  Lo and behold, I did it!  So I can now do a full lap of breaststroke. 

While I was on a high I was told to do a couple of laps of freestyle and of course they seemed easy the breaststroke and although I had a break between laps, I managed two in a row without stopping.  I do have to watch my legs as I tend to bend them to kick myself out of the water when I breathe, which of course makes it harder to breathe! lol

I am learning to do butterfly kicking now and I had four laps with the kickboard.  Towards the end I changed from thinking that I was moving like a dolphin to moving like a mermaid and it seemed a bit easier then! So from now on I will be picturing Arial moving through the water in "The little Mermaid" as my focus for my butterfly kicking - much more graceful then a human pretending to be a dolphin (aka Rob Schneider in "The Animal").

I finished up with another lap of freestyle  and then just a bit of relaxing and chatting before heading off.  I am always sad at the end of the lesson and today I am also very sore!  My crappy eating this week has drained my energy resources and I am really feeling it!  My legs and my shoulders are aching already with my tummy muscles also complaining a little by playing with my digestive tract (lol it makes me burp!) and of course, my nose is now running like a tap in spite of taking my hayfever meds this morning!

But it is oh so worth it!

And now to get to work with my due date a week away!  I spent last night fixing up my graphs which I will finish off now, and then on to the final work on my lit review.  I will send that off tonight and before bed I will go through my discussion and do a quick re-structure.  Tomorrows focus will be getting what I have done complete and working on doing a another lot of correlations.

OH, and today, at lunch time, I need to pop up and get my race pack for tomorrow morning!  yey!

Heading off to start my work now!  Catch you all tomorrow with an update from my run!

A quick update before I head off to bed!  I have my running bib and shoe tag for tomorrows run which I am hugely excited about but I am even more pleased to say that I finally got my lit review done and dusted and sent off for final edits!  So happy.  Just my discussion left to do now so I will start that once I finish my run!  Sigh, now to pack up my huge pile of research papers (I have like 550 papers printed out - no wonder I have run out of ink a hundred times this year! lol) and get my bed ready for sleeping!  yey!


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Week 5 (Thursday) Getting back to normal!

Kids are back at school today so I should be able to get some work done today.  I have 2 lost days to catch up on though!  I'm going to break down my tasks into smaller ones to help me get through and reward myself throughout the day.

At 9.45am I will write up 2 pages of my thesis. 
When that is complete I shall reward myself by having some strawberries and yogurt for morning tea and doing my nails!
Next I will do 2 pages of my thesis.
I have a frozen meal for lunch  and then I will do some yoga.
another two pages of my thesis
After that I wll give myself a good break to watch some tv, prepare dinner and do some housework.
Another two pages of my thesis before bed at which point I will send it off for editing!

I do have a few m&m's for snacking on but I have had  a light breakfast so they will fit in the calorie allowence.  If I do good, I will go for a run before dinner!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The worst day ever!

The last few days have been crappy - really crappy and today is just craptacular!

So I woke up to kids being sick again.  I thought DH would take the day off work given I had such a bad day with them yesterday and got nothing done.  But no, I was woken up to a 'what should do I, send them to school or not', and I was like 'im not even awake yet, use your own brain for once'.  So he rings up work and instead of saying 'i can't come in today' he says 'would you guys be able to manage without me' - well of course they are gonna say no.  So then he comes back into me and asks again 'should I send them to school' and I was soo angry at this point.  I said, I cannot look after so you're gonna have to, but make sure you give them your mobile number as I am not picking them up from school when they end up puking.  DH then chucks a huge spack so I so 'f it, I will have to stay home and look after them - f I wish you would grow some balls.'  He seriously doesn't get why I am so pissed off.  So anyway, kids sick I still have to go into my appointment at 10am so off I toddle only to get told that he didn't even bother with edits becuase he didn't follow it - i had no introduction blah blah - and I was like, yeah.. I do the introduction last when I figure out what I am saying' and I got a blank look and told that that was a stupid way of doing it.  So I just packed up and came home.  I've added an introduction and made some changes to see if I understood but I have to wait until he gets back to me.  No-one has ever critised my writing before - the opposite in fact.  I am a good writer and I explain things well.  I swear this guy is a knob with no friggen idea what he is talking about.    He told me the wrong way to do the stats, insisted I do the wrong thing over and over, and dont' even get started on how he explained the maths.  He keeps giving me references which have nothing to do with what I am researching and he wants me to do everything his way.  he has told me not to use the majority of my own results unless they matched 'his results', told me not to acknowledge that I used his data and so much more.  I am so angry right now and I have no tiem to fix things - thanks to his incompetence, my research took twice as long as it was meant to, and I only got my results 3 weeks ago, and the final results one week ago - so that left me 1-2 weeks to write my thesis.  That is fine if you've no children, gettign paid, and a wife at home to do everything - but not when you've got three kids with special needs, no way to pay for childcare, a husband who only works part-time and crap load of bad luck. 

I've just lost all my confidence.  I'm walking around on the verge of tears, cranky at my partner, yelling at the kids to just leave me alone and let me work, and yet not getting any work done because I am second guessing everything I do.

I just want my confidence back!  Man, I hope my period gets here soon so I can at least look forward to an improvement in my coping ability!

Week 5 (Wednesday) Is that TOTM again?

I think it must be around the corner (TOTM stands for that time of the month).

I've had the worst day yesterday, and today is set to be a humdinger as well.  Three kids home sick, thesis to write, fight with hubby who can't seem to ring up and say "I can't work" but instead rings up to ask 'if they can cope without him today' to which they of course said no.  So much for support for getting my Honours done and dusted.

Yesterdays failures:

  • the list didn't get done
  • my supervisor turned up late for my appt.
  • my thesis didn't get touched (except for editing my results section)
  • my 11yo boy threw the tantrum from hell and I just didn't cope at all.
  • I ate take out noodle box stuff until my stomach was so full I was ready to vomit!
  • Plus chocolate.
  • plus late night so now I am tired.

Today I am going to:

  • meet with supervisor
  • write 5 pages of my thesis
  • use my 10 min breaks to do housework.. whatever I can, it doesn't matter.
  • Have a nap at 2pm
  • run 5k this afternoon.

Now week one or two was my last period so I am expected it to turn up again soon.  I kinda really really hope so - at least then I have an excuse for feeling so stressed and tired.  Right now I am ready to kick the other half out my life as I honestly reckon life would be so much easier without him - just not yet!  lol I need his cooking and wiping up after dinner (all the housework he does) until I get this done!

OH wiegh in was 57.7kg so up a kilo since saturday!  Was better then I expected given my track record this week!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Week 5 (Tuesday) I like Lists!

Well yesterday was great!  My list helped so much! 

So I am going to do it again!

So far today I have:

  • Had breakfast (egg on toast no butter)
  • Stacked dishwasher and wiped down sink and bench
  • Put on a load of washing
  • Made my bed
  • Had my forum time and wrote in my blog!
  • Chicken out to defrost for dinner
Left to do:

  • Meeting at uni
  • Quick shop for a few things
  • write at least 5 pages on my thesis (IL-6 results today)
  • Do edits on results page (still need to go to uni to edit graphs and put them in)
  • clear dining table ready for work
  • hang out washing
  • bring in, fold and put away some washing
  • Chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight
  • Mow the lawn out the front.

Okay, so that is HEAPS to do but hopefully I will get through it all.  The mowing is my exercise - I will put on my hrm and see how many cals I burn! lol  Okay, need to get to it so I head off to my meeting now and report back in as I go!

Hopefully I won't eat too much crap today! lol

Monday, October 18, 2010

Week 5 (Monday) Keep on Keeping On

I'm soldering on.

That is about it.  I have my 500ml of water beside.. which I will drink after my second cuppa tea and some oats for breakfast.  So far today I have:

  • Made my bed
  • Swept the dining room and cleared the table
  • Gave kids cereal for breakfast
  • Stacked the dishwasher and wiped down the sink
  • Put on some washing.. my sports gear
  • Had my forum time
  • and now posted on my blog..

My goal list for today

  • Write up at least 5 pages of my thesis
  • Eat breakfast
  • Hang out my washing
  • Put on a load of towels
  • Bring in some washing and fold (the line is full already so lots to do!)
  • Make up morning tea and lunch, plan dinner, and clean up as I go.
  • Call the post office and get my parcel re-directed
  • Run at least 5kms - maybe do a fast one tonight followed by some good stretching time.
I'm tired - I am so stressed about my thesis that I am having trouble sleeping.  My nose is runny and yuk, I need to take my anti-histamine today.  It's a pupil free day (at least I don't have to shower and dress to take kids to school and pick them up!) and we have 'friends' over whose parents work.

Yesterday I had a great day - I went to the beach wearing my two peice bathing suit - it actually fit me properly for the first time since I bought it! lol  I didn't have to pull the tankini down constantly (though it needed the occasional adjustment) and I felt awesome - so annoyed that dispite dropping hints the dufus head didnt' take any photos of me running around at the beach sans baggy shirt and short for the first time in ages!  Twas a great day and I am sure I came in under 1200 cals even though my diet consisted of egg and mushroom omlette for breakfast, chocolate cookies for lunch and KFC for dinner followed by cheap arse icecream with ice magic for dessert!  I just wasn't that hungry so didn't eat much of anything.  Oh, and yesterday morning, the scales declared that I was 56.7kg - the first time they have been in the 56kg range in two years!  It feels soo good!  Though I feel a bit guilty that I seem to be cheating so much but still getting losses - I guess I am running a great deal and being consistent with that and even though I am eating crap, I am not eating too much (bar the family block of chocolate but I burnt 600+ cals running that day!).  I need to eat better and then I will see better results on the scales... I really want to get to 55kg quick smart (like next week! lol).  Enough stuffing about - time to get to my to-do list and writing my thesis...

Have a great day everyone and smash it up!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Week 4 (Saturday) Under achievers Club

Okay, so I am munching down a chocolate at the moment (think family size block, turkish delight.. keep getting 2 peices then having to go get too more and then half an hour later sneaking a bit more... sigh).  But anyways...  I have decided to start an 'Under Acheivers Anonymous Club'.

The purpose of the club is to celebrate the small acheivments we make everyday so that we can stop focusing on what we are not acheiving.  It is so hard to value what we do when we see others doing so much more and so much better but as Mish says - it is not a competition.  All of us are starting our journeys at different places and have different paths to travel.  You wouldn't compare a runner doing a 5k run around a flat oval to someone with a disability biking up a mountain trail for 30mins so why compare yourself to others?

I know that myself, I am coming from a place that is very unique.  I have been dealing with agorophobia and a panic disorder for about 12yrs.  I consider myself recovered but still have my demons to face.  I am also studying full-time and at the tail end of completing my thesis, have three children (school age) who have speech and behaviorial issues, a husband who only works part-time 30hrs a week and has no idea on how to run a household, and I am incredibly isolated from family and friends.  But I am also quite fit having already completed the couch to 5k program - being able to run 5k is a huge advantage when trying to shed kilos!  And I have a generally positve personality.  I am sure you can see differences between my life and yours - of course you can - everyone is different.  I have it so easy in someways, harder in others - my journey is unique. 

Although the 12wbt is a 'one size fits all' program, it is not because the program works exactly the same for everyone - it is because the program is adjustable to suit your goals.  Remember right at the beginning when we were setting our goals and Mish talked about how they have to be realistic - it was quite hard trying to find that balance between what I could achieve and what I want to acheive.  But it is here and now that I am seeing the importance of this.  My goal is not to become some fitness freak - I want to run and I am, I want to lose weight and I am!

So although I am not acheiving everything I set out to and sticking to the plan exactly, I am still moving forward and for that I deserve a pat on the back.  I am not failing - I am not giving up.

So for those who wish to join the "Under Acheivers Anonymous Club' our first task is to write a list of what we have done, what we have learnt, and what we have acheived so far on this challenge - no matter how small or incidental that might be.

1. I have taken up swimming and can now manage to swim freestyle for a whole lap, and am learning backstroke, breaststroke, and butterfly (kinda lol).  Just signing up was a huge deal for me!

2. I have been running consistently three times a week (I missed one run) and have increased my saturday run to 7km (I am hoping that I will be able to do 10km tonight as my mini milestone).  My times have improved greatly and I my heartrate is steady at a much lower rate then before.

3. I have lost 2.5kg so far, although I have gone up and down a bit, I started the pre-challenge at around 60kg and am now in the 57kg range.  I can see the change in my body and tonight I will do my measurements and hopefully see those centermeters lost.  My clothes feel heaps better anyway!

4. I have tried new foods - I have even eaten a banana which is was a huge food aversion for me!  I am eating breakfast and went the first three weeks without visiting a take-out.  I have been cooking and developed a love for mountain bread!  I spent a whole week on the meal plan without diverting and have been eating 50% of the meals from the plan since then.  And I have resisted chocolate on numerous occasions!

5. I have been helpful and supportive to others on the forums.  And thankyou to those who have sent pm's or responded on my blog as it truely is the most wonderful feeling to have someone say such lovely things and to be encouraging, and to give great advice as well!  The forum and these blogs are wonderful!

Second task for the 'Under Acheivers Anonymous Club'.. write down 3 mini-goals for the week that are achieveable, consistent with your goals, and that will make you feel good!

1. Prepare and drink a 500mL bottle of water each day.  Water is huge deal for me as I am soo fussy about it.  I have a fantastic water bottle (BPA free) and I should be using it.. So I will.  This will be a hard one for me to do but I know that I can do it.  Back up plan is to buy bottled water.. :)

2. Do my Yoga on Friday.  I need to do my yoga - flexibility and core strength are not good and this will go a long way to improving my goal of a flat bikini ready body at the end of the challenge.

3. Print up a mini-poster to stick on my dresser table where I can see it every morning when I wake up.  It will have a picture of a pair of bikinis and a nice summery beach body and a saying.. I am not sure what yet.. but something to motivate me to eat well and live well.

Now to acheive them!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Week 4 (Friday) Oh Crappers.

So I didn't end up doing any toning yesterday, or my yoga dvd today.

I have had shocking indigestion the last two days.  From eating too much!  Or maybe it was just the potato chips and choc chips I was munching on after lunch, and the sizzlers 'salad bar' I ate today, followed by more potato chips and 4 party sausage rolls.

Studying (or procrastinating about studying) is not condusive to good health.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Week 4 (Day 25) The Slippery Slope

Well, you have seen it happening in the blog.. me sliding down the slippery slope away from my goals, away from the 12wbt meal plan and exercise plan.  It started with a chocolate bar and ended up with a day with three meals bought from maccas - including a chocolate sundae.  I've only been doing my runs for exercise - the toning and stretching haven't been happening.

So, now my lab work is over, I have a little time to re-focus!  Yesterday was spent re-doing this weeks meal plan and doing a quick shop.  I feel so much better already!  Just knowing I have a plan is so invigorating! I still need to work out a plan for doing my toning - I really have a mental block there.  The ab work - yeah, I can see a goal there, but the other stuff.. meh. 

I have a few plans but I will go through them a little at a time as I now need to get stuck into my thesis writing for today!

I will make an hour for exercising today!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Week 3 (Day 21) Thesis Writing - Nearly Done

Okay, so I am not nearly done! 
But I have a week to finish the lab work and write my thesis, then a week for edits before printing.

So I am accepting that the next 2 weeks will be priority thesis and not 12wbt.  I will be doing my running as per usual but my toning and stretching days seem to have disappeared and I don't have the mental energy to apply to it right now.  Once I get the bulk of the work done I will get back into this but for now, I am going to focus on my work.

My diet has pretty much gone to shit - I've had a stomach bug which has had me barely eating so I've been picking at crap rather then planning meals.  My partner has to cook and he has no idea on healthy even when I prepare everything (eg. he deep fried fish rather then pan-frying.. dufus head!).  So short of being a cow and refusing to eat what he cooks, I have to suck it up for now.  I don't have time to plan all the meals, do the shopping, and cook everything, as well as make sure the ingredients are not eaten by the kids!

I'm feeling really frustrated to be honest.. I want this but I feel like my partner is just too useless to do anything right.  I mean, he cooks and cleans but does such a bad job that it would be easier to do it myself I think!  But how fair is it that I am studying full-time (will be working full-time in a couple of weeks) and still have to do the budgeting, organising kids therapy, meal planning, house cleaning (except for stacking the dishwasher and wiping down a quarter of the kitchen bench after dinner).. man, the lawns havn'et even been mown!  He works part-time, around 30hrs a week so is gone from 9am to 3pm, but I am taking the kids to school and picking them up because his car doesn't have enough seats (I can't drive his car because it's an old crappy ute and I am too short!).  OH bah.. I am so whinging aren't I?

Okay, I need to get in and do my work now.  The sooner it is done, the sooner I can relax!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Week 3 (Day 18) Planning

The preseason task "organise and diarise' is taking on new meaning for me today!
I've decided to allow 30mins each morning to organise my day and list the things I need to do.  How stress relieving!  I am now sitting here knowing I have four minutes until I need to start work, I have tonights recipe printed off and ready to take home at lunch time (a whole hour!) for D to get ready for dinner, and I have time allotted to do everything I need to do - even exercise!  (I'm kinda cheating and just doing a 10min abs toning video during lunch but hey - its better then nothing!)

So food today:
special K with blueberries and a cuppa for breakfast
1/2 a forme yogurt with blueberries and 2 strawberries for morning tea
Lunch I will go home for so not sure what I will have
baked beans for afternoon tea
Dinner will be shepards pie

abs workout.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Week 3 (Day 17) Weigh In


Not what I wanted given the other day I had hit 57.5kg and bragged to the world! I must remember that the day after my long run is my low kg day!

So back to counting calories today!

special K chocolatey bar (88cals)
Forme yogurt (69cals)
3 strawberries and some blueberries (30cals)
150g tin of baked beans (110cals)
Lasagne for lunch (from 12wbt) (275 cals)
2nd special K chocolatey bar (88cals)
bbq mushroom cabiatta biggest loser pizzer (3/4 plus a bit of meatlovers) (400cals)
I have a weight watchers icecream for after though (100cals)
and have still enough calories for an apple or an hot chocolate.

Way over on the carbs, way under on the protein though calorie king didn't have the details on the lasagna, but any protein with that was probably offset by even more carbs!  I need to start getting that balance right!  But I am very happy that I am, or will be, at nice 250 - 300 cals in deficit today!

I feel so much more in control!

Exercise.. today is 5km run - but I am going to go backwards today to mix up the hills!
I nearly forgot to do this but it was so much fun I think I might do it again!

Time to work on thesis!  I hardly got anything done today.. big effort required tomorrow!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Week 3 (Day 16) Obstacles!

My biggest Obstacle:  Me!

So, I was going to make this a great big whinge post.  My horrid husband decided to deep-fry the fish for dinner tonight, the rat-tat-too-ee (no, I cannot spell it) didn't taste nice at all, my son has been having a REALLY bad day behaviour wise, I have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow where I need to bring up an issue with my 'co-supervisor', I am meant to have my lit review draft done but I am procrastinating, and I need to do up a story board on Cam's communication computer so he can tell the class about his holidays and going to the beach and learning to ride his bike!

Instead I will now admit:
1. I didn't bother to follow up when D asked what we were having for dinner tonight so the fish didn't have time defrost properly.  I also didn't find the Basil for D when he looked at me vaguely earlier when I said he needed to put it in.. He did try, but I should know that he just doesn't get a lot of things in the kitchen as yet.
2. I did get the rat-tat-too-ee on early this afternoon and planned it well but eggplant just doesn't seem to be my thing.  
3. I've been procrastinating about my lit review forever.  I just need to do it.
4. I didn't exercise today because I didn't feel like it.  I could have made the time.
5. I blamed D for Dyllan's behavior today.  I need to step up and do some more stuff around the house and take more responsibility.  I can't keep saying 'when my Honours is done'.
6.  I love Cam, I should love him enough to take an hour to do some work on his communication.  He needs to be in speech therapy but I haven't even got the referral yet for private therapy because I am scared I can't afford it.  And yet I can afford this, and a bike, and I was planning on getting gym membership - something else that was put in the 'when I finish my Honours' basket.
7. I have no reason to stress about my meeting tomorrow.  I only have to make sure I have a few documents with me so I inform her of what is going on and it is up to her as to how she deals with it.
8.  I have conjuctivitis, I feel like crap but not that bad.  I need to suck it up and do some work.

Okay so now I am going to go do some stuff.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Week 3 (Day 15) Acceptance

I'm not throwing in the towel, I am accepting my present limitations. 

The first week of course I was all gung-ho and did it perfectly but the second week was a major fizzler.  Week three is going to be all about acceptance and adjustments!  I cannot stick to the meal plan exactly, I have a family to feed, and am way too busy to cook seperate meals.  So I am adjusting the way we eat as a family.  Healthy lean meats plus vegies or salads and then carbs for dinner for the boys but not me.  I have my carbs at lunch so I have the energy for my exercise and to make it through the 3pm slump (carbs are of course as complex as possible! lol).  I'm not going to give up, but I need to learn to solder on even when the excitement and gloss has worn off.  This is gonna be the rest of my life so I need habits, not motivation!

My running is going great - I'm finally increasing my distance and finding I can run faster on the shorter runs now which is what I was aiming at.  One thing I have learnt is that to acheive something you have to push the boundaries.  In order to increase my 5k speed, I have had to run further and further rather then just keep repeating the same 5k over and over.  I need to try and get some speed intervals happening this week too!

special K with low fat milk and blueberries
cuppa tea
sandwich with roast lamb from last night, mustard, tomato and snow pea sprouts
500ml of water
I've got a 150g tub of baked beans for afternoon tea
and dinner will be home-made pizza

I have a fast 5k run planned for 5pm this afternoon!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Week 2 (Day 13) Swimming - I did it!


I swam a lap of the pool, not just once, but four times - in a row!

I got it!  I needed to blow 'big' bubbles and it just worked!

I had a go at breaststroke as well which was interesting! And I think swapping the strokes helped overcome that mental barrier about freestyle as well.  Thankfully my basic stroke is okay so I should be able to just cruise it on in from here!

oh.. 250 calories burnt in the hour!  Yey!

I'm gonna ride my pushie into uni now and do some work on my thesis, then pushie on back and do my 7km run this afternoon.  The kids are heading to the beach with their pushies - so jealous!  But given I have managed to score a nice tan in the hour I was swimming at 8am this morning I am kinda thinking I would get crispified at the beach today!  lol I am lucky enough to brown easily but I do get red if I push it!

I am soo on a high!  I feel so good that I finally conquered that lap!

I will up date with further calories burnt as I go!

cuppa tea
egg on toast
another cuppa
and another apple
wholegrain bread sandwich with corn relish, ham (40g), snow pea sprouts and cucumber
small tin of baked beans
cuppa tea
slice of chicken - with lemon and basil - with sweet potato and zucchini for the vegies.

push bike - didn't wear hrm so no idea but about 5ks all up
swimming - 250cals (as mentioned earlier)
Running (7km) - 430 cals