My last two rounds have been complete flops. Why? What are my excuses for not doing the program even though I signed up and paid?
It was pretty simple really. I didn’t think I had to… I am special after all. I can still get results even if I don’t do it 100%, and if 80% is okay, then 60% is okay, and if that is okay, well.. let’s just say it is a slippery slope!
The fact is, I am back at my pre-round 2, 2011 weight. Yup, back up to 58kg as I have tried to ‘maintain’ and just failed miserably. I hit rock bottom this week when I started smoking again. Today is Quit Day and I am already finding it difficult even though I’ve only had about 6 smokes in the last couple of days. The habit is so strong and ingrained, I spent a good 15years of my life smoking so it feels so normal.
I also knew that I wasn’t going to the finale party. It made such a huge difference going the the party in Brisbane. Knowing I was going.. and knowing that I would be held accountable I guess. I was no longer invisible. This time I have extra motivation.. my wedding! That is right, I am getting married in early November and I want to have some glamour photos done for D as a wedding gift (some nude pictures as well!). I am booking these in. They need to be confirmed so I have the motivation to go. If the party is in Brisbane this round.. I am going to that as well!
So here I am, yet again, nutting out my excuses.. internal or external, controllable or uncontrollable. But it all comes down to one simple thing.. choice. I need to choose for me, each and every day, to take the action that will lead me to my goal!
Jeni
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