Friday, May 20, 2011

Today, in 12 Weeks Time.

The Blog Challenge:       If you can dream it you can achieve it!!!

I want you to paint me a word picture. Pretend today is not today. You are not nervous, or overwhelmed or apprehensive or excited about the next 12 weeks. You are none of those things because you have LIVED it! You are at the finish line!

Maybe today is the day you run city 2 surf! Maybe it is the finale party. Maybe you are at the final workout. Maybe you are standing up there on the stage with Mish - a WINNER this round.

Paint me the picture. What are you feeling? What are you wearing? What can you do?

What have been your greatest achievements? Your biggest challenges?

How do you feel inside?? Just how excited ARE you???

Before you achieve it - you have to dream it. Put those dreams down. Make them real.

The more specific your dreams the closer you are to making them a reality.

Well, here goes:

Today is a day in 12 weeks time.. or round-a-bouts there.  It's the evening of the finale party.

I am standing in a hotel room in Brisbane, just as scared, nervous, and excited as I am right now.  But so so proud of myself.  I have strength, commitment, character - and I can prove it.  I've completed the lean and strong program, lost 6kg and gained muscle.  My body is toned and beautiful.  I've splurged out and got myself a fake-tan - well, if my photos are going to be used to inspire others then I want to look my best!  I even have my nails done, and had my make-up done professionally for the party. 
I start to put on my dress, a cute black shimmery dress that I picked up that day on a shopping spree!  As the dress shifts into place, I catch a glimpse of someone beautiful in mirror.  My breathe catches in my throat as I realise it is me.  At that moment I smile.  I remember back to 12 wks ago when I cried at the thought of this moment.  I cried because I thought is was impossible.. something that I would forever want but never recieve.  Now I smile because I have come to know the new me, the me that isn't afraid all the time.  The me who knows that I am a good, true person, a woman of my word.
Tonight is my night.  I have overcome so much to be here.  I have saved money, been to the gym everyday, booked plane tickets and accomadation, caught a plane and got to the accommodation.  I have made friends - my first in a very long time.  I can hear them coming down the corridor of the hotel to get me.
A flutter of the old nervousness passes me through me but I know that it won't stay.  I won't get panicy or be shy, I won't stay 'safe' by hiding the corner.  I can now say that I can do anything!  Gone is the girl who cowered in the corner sobbing because she couldnt' answer the phone, the girl who spent a week too terrified to go hang out the washing, the girl who barely left the house for 3yrs!  In her place... a brave and beautiful woman.
It wasn't that long ago that I wished for normal, to not be defective.  Now, I am extraordinary!  I am about to meet Michelle Bridges and lots of other wonderful people who have become my friends over the last 12 weeks. I don't know if I will 'win' a prize, if I do, I will accept it with grace and pride.. I have already won more then they could ever know, or even imagine - I have won back the ability to live a life outside of the shadows of fear. 
I grab my handbag and head out the door, ready for anything.  I run down the hallway giggling with excitment and happiness and disappear around the corner to my new life!

Okay.. so that is my 'dream' for 12 weeks time.  I don't know if it is possible.. I'm actually kinda scared that it might come true.  I am freaking terrified that I might just win the 'train with Michelle' competition on facebook as then I have no excuses! I wont' be able to hide in the shadows, to make excuses, to turn my back and pretend it isnt' there.  I want this so much I am afraid to want it.  I'm vulnerable, exposed, and so easily knocked down.  But everyday I will fight to move one step closer!


  1. Is it possible??? ABSOLUTELY!!

    Oh you made me cry girl.

    Promise me you will print that out and read it every single day for the next 84 days.

    You are inspirational!

    Can't wait to meet you in Brissy!

  2. that is awesome Jeni, as a wise man told Kevin Costner ' if you build it he will come' Well I figure HE can be anything at all. Go hard and you will achieve anything you set out to achieve.

  3. Awesome post, thanks for sharing. xx

  4. Oh and I'm adding you to my blog roll over on my blog, hope thats ok. =)

  5. Jeni - look how far you have already come! Smash it up on that lean and strong program, hon! I wanna see your guns in 12 weeks time! :D Remember to take a photo of them flexed now so you can compare!!! Go for gold xox