Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The worst day ever!

The last few days have been crappy - really crappy and today is just craptacular!

So I woke up to kids being sick again.  I thought DH would take the day off work given I had such a bad day with them yesterday and got nothing done.  But no, I was woken up to a 'what should do I, send them to school or not', and I was like 'im not even awake yet, use your own brain for once'.  So he rings up work and instead of saying 'i can't come in today' he says 'would you guys be able to manage without me' - well of course they are gonna say no.  So then he comes back into me and asks again 'should I send them to school' and I was soo angry at this point.  I said, I cannot look after so you're gonna have to, but make sure you give them your mobile number as I am not picking them up from school when they end up puking.  DH then chucks a huge spack so I so 'f it, I will have to stay home and look after them - f I wish you would grow some balls.'  He seriously doesn't get why I am so pissed off.  So anyway, kids sick I still have to go into my appointment at 10am so off I toddle only to get told that he didn't even bother with edits becuase he didn't follow it - i had no introduction blah blah - and I was like, yeah.. I do the introduction last when I figure out what I am saying' and I got a blank look and told that that was a stupid way of doing it.  So I just packed up and came home.  I've added an introduction and made some changes to see if I understood but I have to wait until he gets back to me.  No-one has ever critised my writing before - the opposite in fact.  I am a good writer and I explain things well.  I swear this guy is a knob with no friggen idea what he is talking about.    He told me the wrong way to do the stats, insisted I do the wrong thing over and over, and dont' even get started on how he explained the maths.  He keeps giving me references which have nothing to do with what I am researching and he wants me to do everything his way.  he has told me not to use the majority of my own results unless they matched 'his results', told me not to acknowledge that I used his data and so much more.  I am so angry right now and I have no tiem to fix things - thanks to his incompetence, my research took twice as long as it was meant to, and I only got my results 3 weeks ago, and the final results one week ago - so that left me 1-2 weeks to write my thesis.  That is fine if you've no children, gettign paid, and a wife at home to do everything - but not when you've got three kids with special needs, no way to pay for childcare, a husband who only works part-time and crap load of bad luck. 

I've just lost all my confidence.  I'm walking around on the verge of tears, cranky at my partner, yelling at the kids to just leave me alone and let me work, and yet not getting any work done because I am second guessing everything I do.

I just want my confidence back!  Man, I hope my period gets here soon so I can at least look forward to an improvement in my coping ability!

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