Week 6 (Thursday) Re-introduction!

Hi!  My name is Jenifer and I am 36yo.
I have been a member of the 12wbt since pre-season first began and was doing really well up until week 3. 
Three weeks on from that and I have realised that I have completly stopped participating in the challenge except for the forums.  I do have an excuse.. a good one too... my Honours thesis is due to be printed on Monday November 1st.  Whether that is a valid excuse is up for debate! 

I have decided that given my situation, it would be a good idea to 're-start' my journey and go-over the pre-season tasks again, so here I am.

I am a student - Biomedical Science Honours - and will hopefully begin work soon as well, but everything after Monday is a complete mystery!
I have three children.. all boys, 11, 7 and 5yo.  And I have a partner - today is our 18th anniversary of 'getting together' (we haven't been bothered to get married as yet - though I have the ring!).


So why am I doing the 12wbt challenge?

I am about 10kg overweight.  I was 42kg when I was pregnant with my first child way back in 1998.  I was in the middle of a mental illness - anxiety/panic disorder and agorophobia.  Cause and effect get a bit mixed up here but there was a link between my illness and food.  I soon discovered food made me feel better and healthier but after years of eating crap (just not much of it) I had no idea what healthy food was so although eating more was a good thing - I was eating more of the wrong foods.  So after 10yrs the weight had slowly crept on and on and on until I hit 69kg.  At this point I actually realised that I was getting 'fat' - not just a little chubby but unhealthy - overwieght and bordering on obese.  yes, I know 69kg seems a low number for many people, but at 155cm tall, that is 20kg overweight. 

I started to eat healthy (calorie king is AWESOME) and joined a gym.  It didn't take long and I was 5kg down.  I moved, started uni, and started work and in the process lost another 5kg over 6mths.  Another 5kg came off in the next 6mths due to stress - my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away, I decided that was a great time to kick my partner out as well!  I came to my senses within 3mths I had gained back my weight and was settled nicely at 60kg which is where I was when I started this program.  I have lost 2.5kg so far, half in the pre-season so accordign to my stats I am only 1.1kg down!  The scales have had me as low as 56.7kg but I had bounced back up by weigh in day and I am now seeing a gradual increase. 

Now.. back to the why...
I don't like being chubby!  I want to fit and healthy and have a good life.  I hate that I am so dependent on food to get me through stressful situations.  I hate that I fall back into lazy habits and get take-out when I have a fridge full of food.  I want a 'better' life.  I want to be proud of who I am!  I want people to look at me and see that I respect myself and deserve that respect!  I want to be disciplined - I want to be a woman of my word (which I haven't been so far in this challenge!).

So there you go.. that is who I am.