Today is the day I must choose.
I can see myself veering off the path I am on and I need to acknowledge that and get back on that path before I get sucked in the downward spiral.
It started with the chocolate the other day, and then the pizza.
And then yesterday I was fine until dinner again - double servings for me, PLUS a red mars bar. AND I didnt' do my exercise.
Now, I am stressed. Really stressed. I am tired.. so tired, but am having trouble sleeping. My Honours is taking me into some weird hours- I was up till 11pm last night, had to be at the lab from 7.30am to 12noon this morning. I need to go back at 10.30pm tonight for an hour, and then again tomorrow from 9am to noon. But then that is it until next week. But I have about 40pages of my Thesis to write up in the next few weeks.
I feel so overwelmed with what I have to do. I am concerned because I've lost faith in my supervisor in how he is instructing me to do my research, especially with the statistics and some of the writing aspects as well. I need to go over his head and talk to someone now, before it is too late, and that is scary! I am so late in getting me results, the other two students are way ahead in their progress.. I am worried, scared and stressed. I don't know if I can do this.
The house is a mess, the kids are not being looked after properly as I am relying on my partner to do most things (who would have thought I would have to explain to him that the kids really do need to brush their teeth each night!), and I just feel like everything is falling down around me - including me.
I will go for my run tonight - I damn well need the stress relief.
I may stray off the path but I will acknowledge it when I do, and I will move back onto my path!
I don't remember the last time our house was tidy. I mean, the bathroom gets cleaned and the kitchen generally is ok when it isn't covered in last nights dishes, but there are clothes and toys from the front door to the back. But the kids are fed, they are happy, and being boys - haven't quite killed each other yet. I figure if we can keep it to that level, and exercise, and eat well, AND work / study then we are doing ok.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing more than ok. Get the assignments done, your boys probably don't even notice that the house is any different. When the study is done, kick all the men out of the house, put the music on load, and get a workout by going from room to room.
Hmmmm, think I might do that myself :)
Yeah, stuff the house - for a few weeks at least. And the kids won't die from neglect.... (Free range children is the latest thing didn't you know?!) Focus on you for this (relatively) short period of time, and give yourself what you deserve - time for exercise will help your head, and help you deal with all the uni stuff and get it in perspective. Easy for me to say (dealing with my own demons and derailments)... but sometimes we all need someone else to calmly look at things and say "It's doable - you can do it!"
ReplyDelete